The Race Card Doesn’t Exist

This was one of the hardest posts I’ve ever written, but the conversations continue. A few months ago when having a frank and difficult discussion about racism and the confederacy, I was told that I was playing the “race card.” To be clear, the race card has never existed for minorities and the marginalized whether by sexual orientation, gender identity, ethnicity, or race. The race card is one of the last bastions of the language used to silence dissenting voices. This Black History month, the response I shared is needed more than ever.

“ I acknowledge that you have the right to post and express your views but that evening, I shared an alternate view. I found it incredibly offensive regardless of your fears of looting to express concern for the Confederacy. You accused me of having blinders. The irony is not lost on me how blinded you have been for years on your wall and in your daily life for thoughts that differ from yours. Your comment related to the “race card” was disgusting and appalling. I firmly believe you understood what you meant by that statement. The race card is used and has been used for generations to dismiss, diminish, and shut down black voices. I never expected that from you.”

The person who I was responding to I had at one time considered a family member. What was the most troubling for me, was his inability and abject refusal to apologize. We can disagree but when you hurt someone by your words, the minimum of compassion is to apologize. I can’t express in words what that comment means to people like me. Comments like this are intended to make me feel low. The race card does not exist- it never has. There is no card for racial slurs, or alienation, being made to work harder for half as much.

I believe that all people have struggled. In my life, fear is a near-constant. I fear for my life, my daughter, family, and friends who look like us from the time I wake up till I arrive home. I have grown up with stories of lynchings and lost family members to lynchings. I have worried that my voice or my families would be silenced, in the workplace, and ultimately, with our lives. There are two very different Americas.

I don’t have a black card but do I have amazing black parents, who have been through more than anyone should in a lifetime. They are models of integrity, unwavering love, strength in adversity, family focus, hard work, humility, and forgiveness. I’m not here to provide anyone with absolution but I do wish you grace.